Young People In Their Irish Party Tshirts Vs. Organized Religion

It is very hard to ignore the complaints of religious organizations when they speak out against how holidays that were actually established by the Catholic religion are being taken over by things the Papacy stands so firmly against. If you’ll look at a holiday like Saint Patrick’s for instance, you’ll see that it no longer even vaguely resembles the honor and stiff religious prestige it once did. Now the day in question is nothing but a revelry of raucous behavior in silly Irish shirts.

The Catholic Church holds Saint Patrick in especially high esteem. The entire island nation of Ireland was once dominated by a Celtic people who worshiped their own ancestors and a multitude of gods that demanded sacrifice and war. Saint Patrick was a holy man who traveled back to Ireland after escaping captivity there solely for the purpose of converting the population. Now, Ireland is mostly stalwart Catholics because of him. If you were Catholic, wouldn’t the drunkenness and goofy Irish tshirts bother you?

Who really goes out to pray and attend services on March 17th these days? When the kids fill up the bars and pubs with their crazy costumes and Saint Patrick’s Day Irish tee shirts, do you think they are really paying homage to a Saint who has been dead for hundreds of years? The holiday is nothing like it once was. Considering the lack of education in this country, I would be honestly surprised if most of the youth even knows who Saint Patrick was.

While I know for a fact that Catholicism would love nothing more than to throw the brakes on and halt the progress into secular debauchery that St. Patrick’s Day is hurtling towards, I fear that the train is now officially out of control. Stopping kids from going out and throwing back green beer in those cheap Irish tee shirts is not possible any more. The church would have to instill something resembling reverence, and we are certainly no longer a reverential people.

As far as I am concerned, you can rock out in your drinking Irish tshirts all night long on Saint Patrick’s Day. Not only am I not really all that religious by nature, but I am very likely to be right next to you at the bar ordering a pint of green beer with you. What I do suggest, however, is that you take just a minute of your precious time to look up the historical facts concerning this holiday that we have butchered through the years. It’s not so much to request, really. It might give you something interesting to talk about between shots of whiskey.

The Problem I Have With Kids On St. Patrick’s Day And Their Silly Irish Tshirts

When I was growing up and well into my early twenties, we celebrated St. Patrick’s Day in a way that would be wholly unrecognizable to what we see these days. In my day, the day was spent actually honoring St. Patrick and Ireland. There was a special mass, we said our prayers, we cooked a special meal, and then all of the men would meet down at the local watering hole and knock back a few while telling stories about our forefathers. We certainly didn’t get sick on green beer and wear outrageous Irish t-shirts.

You know, they really snuck up on us with this whole “Saint Patrick’s Day is a party day” thing. One year it’s just me and the rest of the old fogies sitting around and having a few frothy beers while we do what we’ve always done. Maybe we notice a few new faces hanging around, but it’s nothing drastic. Before you know it, the pub is swarming with kids in green Irish tees all throwing down shots of whiskey and acting crazy. I’m not really sure I can put a finger on when the change took place.

The main problem I have with the whole thing is that these young people seem just so darn disrespectful about it. They throw Irish whiskey down their throats, they wear offensive Irish shirts, and they raise all kinds of hell all night long. The things they wear and the way they act almost seems like a mockery of my heritage, and I can’t help but get a bit irate at that. None of them would know a real Irishman if he knocked them in the head with a Blackwood stick.

What would really calm my nerves about the whole problem I have with what St. Patrick’s has turned into, is if any of these youth would show even the slightest interest in learning something about Ireland or its people. Instead of showing even the tiniest bit of interest, they seem to look at the new incarnation of the holiday as just another reason the get drunk and flirt with each other. You don’t need my holiday and you don’t need offensive Irish t-shirts for that.

I know you’ve read this article and are thinking that I’m the most ornery man on the planet. Well, I don’t sit on my front porch and yell at kids to get off my front lawn. I just want the homeland of my people honored like it should be, and those silly Irish tees just don’t cut it. It also needs to be mentioned that once I’m good and toasted on Saint Patrick’s Day, I tend to care a lot less about what shirts people are wearing and how young they are. After a few pints, everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick’s Day.

Zombie Shirts And The End Of The World

I cannot tell you how awful my night has been, but considering the current state of the world…I suppose everyone is having a bad night. It wasn’t long after midnight when one of them noticed some careless movement behind a window. Maybe it was just a curtain moving and was a stroke of bad luck, or maybe one of us did something stupid. It doesn’t matter, because they attacked the house. In the aftermath, Jim was laying on the ground and bleeding from a dozen wounds with three undead kids wearing zombie t-shirts.

That whole moment was like looking through the world while trapped in liquid amber. Everything moved so slow that I could just observe and think. I remember that just a few short years ago, the entire planet was infatuated with zombie media, and here were three chubby kids who were so in love with undead stuff that they were wearing zombie shirts when they died.

It had to have been a coincidence, but I understand how it could be possible considering how many people were wearing zombie tees when the dead actually started coming back hungry. Things happened too quickly for people to actually know why it was happening, but these three fools were obviously in for a shock when their favorite movie monsters started eating them alive.

I snapped out of this reverie when I heard by friend Jim make a noise. I was prepared to kill one more monster, when I realized that he wasn’t quite dead yet. Nothing gets to be easy these days, even dying. Jim kicked weakly at one of the guys laying around him and I heard him laugh, despite all of the blood loss. “Can you believe these idiots are wearing zombie tee shirts, man?” he said. I had to laugh, even though I couldn’t see from the tears in my eyes.

I took care of him. It took every bit of strength I had, but he wanted me to get it done. I loved him like a brother, and we swore we would never let each other turn. I burned him with the guys in zombie shirts and then left that place behind. I don’t know what I’ll do now that I’m alone. I have to sleep sometime. I guess it’s better than waiting for some zombie-loving zombie to come get me.

Talk Shit, Spit Blood

You know you like that feeling you get when something makes you feel like a bad-ass, right? Maybe you just picked up something really heavy that you thought for sure you were going to drop. Maybe you just beat a video game that has been giving you problems. Or maybe, just maybe, you just walked into a biker bar wearing this Talk Shit, Spit Blood t-shirt and then walked back out alive.

You don't want to go talking shit around a person wearing a shirt like this

You may want to argue that this shirt doesn’t belong in a blog about funny t-shirts, but I would have to disagree with you wholeheartedly. Violence in and of itself is not funny, but there is nothing violent about this shirt. This shirt is deterring violence. It sets some ground rules and demands that they not be broken, even going so far as to set some fairly certain penalties if they are. More simply: if you talk shit, you are going to be hit in the mouth and will be spitting blood forthwith.

I saw a guy wearing this shirt at a bike rally a few months ago, and laughed out loud immediately. I tracked him down and asked him where he bought it, because as a shirt vendor…it was my job to know. The guy wasn’t a hard-ass at all. He was courteous and well spoken, and I have to admit I was a bit surprised. I kind of expected him to be some kind of knuckle-dragging ape, but he turned out to be quite nice. The irony of this only made the t-shirt funnier to me, but I’ve always been someone who appreciates a bit of irony.

When I visited the source of this funny t-shirt, I found the above image as the modeling picture. This sealed the deal. Not only is the shirt kind of hardcore, which appeals to the male in me, but it is also one of the best funny t-shirts I’ve found in a while. Talk Shit, Spit Blood deserves its place amongst the best funny t-shirts on the Internet. You can find this shirt and more at www.foulmouthshirts.com.